Women NEED Men #momtok

Along with the vast majority of middle-aged America, I too have recently watched The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives… and let’s just say, as a married woman, I am irked.

If you aren’t educated on the plot of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, let me catch you up to speed. It’s a reality show about Utah influencers, half of whom are NOT wives, and close to none are actually members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. They are allegedly fighting the patriarchy on their road to fame while showing the world what true womanhood is about. Again… allegedly.

Now, before you go assuming I’m overly invested in a reality TV show and being extremely judgmental, you would be correct. Not really… more than anything, MOMTOK just feeds my frustration with society and how screwed future generations are if this behavior continues.

I’m not upset with the choices they’ve made, the consequences are theirs. I’m not here to “should” their circumstances, and I’m not here to invalidate their struggles. But I’m sorry, I can’t not speak my mind when it comes to the utmost disrespect they show their husbands and the completely inaccurate picture they are painting of what a powerful woman looks like to the easily influenced minds of society. So… I’m sorry, but you, my followers, get to hear about it.

The family was designed traditionally in a very specific way that is intended to bring both the man and the woman lasting satisfaction, both emotionally and mentally. Gender roles typically align with the male being the provider and the female being the nurturer. If your family chooses to stray from those traditional roles… FINE BY ME. I do not care, if that is what works for you.

The problem starts when one person ends up carrying everything and the other slowly becomes unnecessary in the relationship. When one person is both the provider and the nurturer (to some extent, because it is impossible for anyone to do both 100%), it can create a dynamic where the other person’s role feels diminished. The person they promised to share their life with, suddenly their opinions feel annoying or irrelevant. This creates a “why do I even need you?” mentality that I just respectfully think lacks all intelligence. In the case of MOMTOK, it creates great worldly success for the women while stripping all respect they once had for their husbands. You cannot have a two-way relationship when one side quite literally takes on every responsibility, leaving nothing for the other to contribute.

I think that’s my issue more than anything. Why are these the relationships we plaster all over the media? Where are the power couples that are rooted in Christ and working together to support each other’s dreams? Where are the husbands who take pride in providing and make it their life mission to support their wives’ dreams? Where are the wives who show gratitude to their husbands? Where are the marriages that show a confident kind of love—with no competition, no animosity—just a simple appreciation for two different roles instead of fighting over one?

Put that on my screen. Show me that. When will entertainment start encouraging family growth instead of idolizing celebrity downfall?

-Daisy